• My Brother: Is it illegal to expose yourself to a blind person?
• My Brother: Why is it called a building when it's already built?
• My Brother: If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
• My Brother: When something is shipped by ship it's called cargo, but when something is shipped by car it's called a shipment...
• My Brother: If love is blind, then why is lingerie so popular?
• My Brother: Why is impediment so hard to say when used to describe someone who has a hard time talking?
• My Brother: What's the speed of dark?
• Me: -awake forever trying to figure out all the answers-

guys i feel as ignored as

• a white crayon
• the first piece of bread
• internet explorer
• the terms of agreement
• 18+ warning
• Kevin Jonas
• the fourth girl in spring breakers

(via sokaylayelled)

spirit-of-the-ocean:

my uncle used to be one of those people who drove dead people to cemeteries and such 

then he became a taxi driver and the person he was driving tapped his shoulder to ask a question and my uncle screamed really loud

(via sokaylayelled)

shelleysandwich:

today in math class some guys phone went off  and his ringtone was one direction’s same mistakes and when he noticed it was like his whole entire life was flashing before his eyes 

(via sokaylayelled)